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A familiar scent came through the doors of the club, Willow’s. My… - Welcome to Caritas

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December 3rd, 2003


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sweetjayguitar
06:11 am
A familiar scent came through the doors of the club, Willow’s.
My eyes followed her as she crossed the room to Lorne, directly to him. She knew him.
I looked back to my drink and downed it before getting up and crossing the floor (after she was done talking to Lorne) to where she was/

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[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 4th, 2003 06:51 am (UTC)

what can I say

(Link)
Lorne's advice was as always on the mark, Oz may not know about Tara's death, but I could never allow him to think we could get back together, It wouldn't be fair to give him false hope, Lorne moves away as Oz approaches the gentleman as ever
"Oz?" I question lightly even though It seems silly so I don't wait for him to confirm it
"Hey" I look around the club and see and empty booth close to where we stand so I motion to it
"Do you want to take a seat?" I feel we have so much to talk about so much to catch up on . I look forward to hearing about his travels
But I also feel strangely nervous around him..... I don't know why
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 4th, 2003 06:57 am (UTC)

Re: what can I say

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I could feel her nerves, I could smell every emotion she was going through.

"Hey."
I went with her to the empty table and took a seat across from her.
I wanted so badly to be with her but I knew I never could be. I've tormented my life with that single thought.

Start with teh simple questions. "How've you been?"
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 4th, 2003 03:59 pm (UTC)

Re: what can I say

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I cleared my throat
"I'm good....I've only been in LA for a few weeks, Lorne came up with this great idea about opening a magic shop up stairs from the club... so i'm settling down.. how about you?..... you planning on staying in LA for a while?" I ask curiously
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 4th, 2003 04:07 pm (UTC)

Re: what can I say

(Link)
"For right now I'm staying in a hotel, not quite sure what I'm doing."
Why did this feel so uncomfortable? Because I still loved her even when I knew it wasn't returned?
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 4th, 2003 04:20 pm (UTC)

Alcohol driven honesty

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I didn't understand it, it was never meant to be like this,being with Oz was had never been hard for me, a waitress passed and I stopped her
"Can I have a double Vodka and coke in a tall glass please?" I looked to Oz, he may have been surprised at my order but with him you couldn't tell
"you want anything?" I waited for him to order and the waitress moved away to fetch the drinks
"I'm sorry Oz.... I know this is my Fault... I never meant for us to feel uncomfortable around each other"
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 4th, 2003 04:32 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"I'll have the same." I told the waitress.

"I never said it was your fault."
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 4th, 2003 04:47 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"isn't it?... if I hadn't changed the way I did." but I Stop knowing that I couldn't help the way I felt, knowing that even if it meant being happy here with Oz I would never change who I had become, Being with Oz had been special but being with Tara.... Well that was like coming home....
"Will we be able to become friends?" just then the waitress came and put our drinks on the table in front of us, I stop her before she moves away
"Leah, can you bring the same again?" I ask the young woman, she's been working at Lorne's for a few months, and we had spoken a few times
"Sure Willow" she answers with no smile, sensing the tension between the guitar player and myself, I return my eyes to Oz and took a long drink of the sweet liquid in front of me, Vodka had never been a drink I had enjoyed before moving to LA, and I realize how much of an influence the green guy has obviously had over me
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 4th, 2003 04:57 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
I had gotten used to liquor and drinks, probley to used to it. Spending time on ships at night when there was nothing to do a poker game and a couple of drinks kept us company.
"Never knew you for a drinker, but alot has changed."
I took a swig of my drink.
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 4th, 2003 05:06 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
I look down at the drink in my hand, he's right I'm not a big drinker, so why I'm doing this is a mystery even to me.... nervse?... I wonder, but he doesn't need to know that, I noticed he never answered My question and for some reason it makes me think that the answer will be no, and my hopes of Finding an active friendship with Oz dwindles as fast as my drink, the thought makes me sadder than I knew possible and in a small way angry, angry at him for not trying harder, for not being the understanding guy he always came across as..... and maybe not loving me enough.... but I stop myself and remember that it was me who moved on, when he came back for me I was already in the arms of someone else, I think my anger may be misplaced but I can't move it just now as I take another drink, i nod my head
"Yeah a lot has changed..... it's hard to know where to begin"
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 4th, 2003 05:13 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
I could smell her anger.
"Lets start with us.
I want to be friends still." well actually I wanted more then that but it wasn't going to happen that way.
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 4th, 2003 05:18 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"us?" I questioned wondering what he meant, I considered all forms of "Us"..... friend "us" or couple "us"
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 4th, 2003 05:24 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"individually."
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 4th, 2003 05:32 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

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"individually?" I was repeating his words like an idiot, the alcohol may be kicking in a finish my drink as Leah appears out of no where with another
"Thanks Leah" I say before wondering where to start
"Well let me think .... since we last spoke,I became addicted to magic, Tara was shot and killed, I turned evil and tried to destroy the world, but I'm over that now.... then we closed the hellmouth and destroyed Sunnydale.... I would miss out going home if I where you, Xander lost an eye, I did date someone else... but it didn't work out.... we traveled around the country a bit before Lorne persuaded me to settle down here...... how about you?.... been busy?"
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 4th, 2003 05:38 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"Haiwii, Australia, Japan, China, Tibet, England and a few places in between. I traveled the world. "Not looking for a cure anymore."
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 9th, 2003 06:13 am (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
The silence stretched between us and I wasn't sure what to say next so I winged it .... saying anything just wanting to put words into the space between us
"I was in England last Summer for a few months..... nice place" he still wanted to be friends and I knew then we would have to work on it if we where ever going to make it work!
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 9th, 2003 07:15 am (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"Yeah I know, I saw you there."
I was there at the same time but for difrent reasons, a dilivery.
I saw her there but the coven sugested that it was best I stayed away.
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 9th, 2003 09:11 am (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"you did?" Willow wasn't sure whether she should be angry he didn't say Hi or glade because with the mess she was in she may not have handled it very well.... instead she nodded her head, understanding his reasons, I glanced at the stage an seen a rather interesting looking demon, struggle to keep up with the words of "My heart will go on" I let me eye's wanter to Lorne having an intense conversation with Wesley, I'm suddenly curious
"Did you sing for Lorne?"
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 9th, 2003 01:50 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"Actually, yeah."
Why did it have to be so suprising to myself that I sang on stage, I used to all the time.
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 10th, 2003 04:38 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"Did you speak to Lorne?..... he's the most amazing guy.... wise in so many ways?" I had found a thread of conversation and I clung to it... even though I knew it could be a sensitive topic
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 10th, 2003 06:25 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"Yeah, he said alot. No quite the things I wanted to hear but needed too." things about her.
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 11th, 2003 05:23 am (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
I nodded in understanding, it was how Lorne worked.... if you didn't want to hear the truth then don't ask his opinion, I had learned that quickly as our friendship grew
"I'm glade he helped you, Lorne is one of the most Genuine people I've ever met" the silence stretched between us again and I finished by drink, my head feels slightly light but I don't feel nearly drunk I catch Leah gently by the arm as she passes
"Same again please Leah" I say with a smile, she nods and smiles back as she turns and heads once again for the bar I look to Oz, my mind can't conjure up anything to say so I sit my fingers idly playing with the empty glass I wait for him to say something this time, I know I could wait a while...... but I don't mind
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 11th, 2003 06:22 am (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"Yeah he seems like a cool guy."
When Willow caught the waitress I to also ordered a drink.

"So, how everybody." I ment the whole scooby gang.
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 11th, 2003 04:42 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"they're Fine...... after Sunnydale was destroyed we moved around a bit, did good in some other places.... but It's just not the life for me!.... so I took Lorne up on the offer of the shop space above the club..... I turned it into a magic shop.... I can fight evil here as well as any place.... they're still moving around... we keep in touch and any Witchy stuff then need I'm still available" I didn't go on... I missed not seeing them everyday more than I care to admit and I was drinking more than I normally would!..... but it's hard being away from your Family... I still Talk to Buffy and Co every other day.... but it's hard.... I never knew it was possible to be homesick for people.... but It's possible, by the time Leah has arrived I have a tear in my eye, she looks concerned, glancing quickly to Oz, she put both our drinks down
"you ok Willow?" she asks gently and I wipe my eye's quickly
"Fine.... I'm fine thanks Leah" I give her a reassuring smile she nods and reluctantly leaving she glances back to us once as she's lost in the crowd, I take a drink from the new glass and smile to Oz
"Sorry about that!" is all I can say
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 11th, 2003 05:06 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"You miss them, I get."
I really understood that because I ran away from people, civilization. Every second of the day I missed home. Missed being with Willow curled up in bed. Even the scoobie gang, I belonged more with them then I did anyone else.
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 11th, 2003 05:31 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"Miss them" I was repeating his words again, I nod
"Yes....yes I do.... it's hard being away from your Family... the people you love" I put words to some of my earlier thoughts
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 11th, 2003 05:35 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"I know."
I downed my drink quickly and let it burn my throat.
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 11th, 2003 05:54 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
I nod my head and think he does know.... I wonder again if it possible we could still be friends.... if we could ever be close or would he always want more, want something I could never give him, I think having me there might stop him moving on..... finding someone new.... or maybe I'm giving myself too much credit and he has someone already, I drink the last of my drink and once again catch Leah's eye, she walks toward us with a smile.... I return it
"I'm sorry for asking Again Leah but can we both have another... in fact bring two.... it will save time" she laughs at my request
"Don't worry Willow... it's my job" she winks once then walks off and I finish the drink in front of me in one swallow
"Is there anyone in your life at the moment?" I bite the bullet not knowing what his answer will be or how it will make me feel
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 11th, 2003 06:52 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"Isolation's a pretty lonly thing." I had no one, not even a friend.
I didn't want to meet anyone or make any friends. I couldn't rust myself as the wolf.
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 12th, 2003 09:44 am (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
"Yeah it's the lack of people that can really get to you" I answer half joking, Leah comes back and puts 4 drinks on the table takes the empty glasses and leaves, I can feel the alcohol take effect, so much so the Frelic demon singing his unique version of Britney's "ooop I did it again" starts to actually sound like music, and A fleeting notion that I too can sing shows me that maybe I've had too much, but the night has held such sadness and I want to forget everything, even the Fact that I have no musical ability.... I start on one of the glasses in front of me and I think Lorne may finally get his song at least someone will be happy
[User Picture]
From:sweetjayguitar
Date:December 12th, 2003 12:46 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
I downed one of the drinks that she had ordered me, if she was going to drown herself I wouldn't let her do it on her own. I can hold my drink though.
[User Picture]
From:willow1181
Date:December 17th, 2003 05:32 pm (UTC)

Re: Alcohol driven honesty

(Link)
I watched him empty the glass quickly and had to smile, as I finished the glass in my hand.... I looked toward the stage and saw it was for the moment empty
"I think I need to sing" I had no idea why the words came out of my mouth or even if they where true but I felt committed to them in some way, so i stood on surprisingly steady legs
"I'll be back" I said to Oz as he looked at me his expression as ever unchanged
I made my way to the stage and whispered into the control guy's ear... he nodded without and without a word he went through the disks in his folder with practiced ease, finally emerging with the one he wanted he placed it into the machine, nodded again and gestured to the mike on the stage, a stool positioned behind it and a spotlight illuminated the small area... I took a deep breath and staggered slightly onto the stage, finding the stool I slid onto it as the music started and the words appeared on the screen... I closed my eye's I knew the words to the song, I tried not to wonder why I was doing this. i just felt the music and sung

(OOC I'll continue this in a new post in Caritas... this one is getting a bit full!!)

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