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Willow sings!!.... finally!! - Welcome to Caritas

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December 18th, 2003


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willow1181
01:33 am - Willow sings!!.... finally!!
I was drunk even as I falteringly made my way onto the stage, I knew it was probably a mistake.... the remaining sober part of me was screaming in my head...'you can't sing!!' but I had told Oz I needed too and maybe it was true, I hadn't been feeling myself lately the loneliness of being without my friends... the shock of seeing him again..... it was all too much and I needed to release, I had picked the song from the top of my head.... I didn't know where the inspiration came from but it did.... Oz more than anything had reminded me of her... my one True Love.... when the music started I closed my eye's, I knew the words... I wondered if she would be listening....... looking down on me.... ashamed of my weakness......... but Lorne had wanted me to sing so here I am singing... i try not to wonder why



------
I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
I lay dying
and i'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will I be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide
------



I finish and wonder off the stage but I don't go back to Oz straight away I wait beside the Stage stairs.... maybe I should try to catch Lorne.... see what my future holds... I chuckle at the thought of what he might say and when the laughter doesn't stop I know that I've had too much to drink.... and I try not to cry
Current Mood: drunkdrunk
Current Music: myself trying to sing

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